Do as your told

So I've been feeling a little sorry for myself lately.  I was battling about a 3 week bout of depression that wasn't fun by any means.
Suffice it to say that I haven't felt that way before.......................it was horrible.
For the first time this week I feel 'normal', whatever that is............we all have our own 'normal' though right, and this week I've felt like my own normal.
I don't know what spurred it and I don't know why I'm feeling better. I can play the guessing game.  But I won't take up more of your time.

One of my goals is to listen to the promptings of the spirit and follow them.
It's pretty hard to do when you're feeling sorry for yourself and don't wanna be around people or hear about their problems.  It's like you wanna say 'Hey man, ENOUGH, I've got my OWN SET of problems and I can't be stuffed listening to yours alright!!!  I'm outta here'
This is the feelings I've been feeling.  I didn't wanna help people, listen to them, serve them, be around them.  I felt 'taken advantage of' whenever I 'had' to hang out with anyone or do any kind've service.
Pretty bad right?  And totally not me.  It was like the OPPOSITE of me.  People were irritating me and making me mad and I just wanted to hibernate.  PEOPLE WERE PROBLEMS and I wanted nothing to do with them!!
Crazy aye!!!

Back to my 'following the spirit' part of the story.
So yesterday I was talking to a mate on the phone and I got the prompting (Spirit)"you need to go over and help her clean her house"
I'm like 'WHAT THE CRAP,  come on..............I can't even tidy MY OWN HOUSE!!!  I don't wanna tidy her house'
So I offered to look after her kids all afternoon, and I did.
But guess what happened all afternoon...................(S)."she needs you to tidy her house"
(Milz)'But I'm looking after her kids........that's good enough right?'
(S)"That's not what I asked you to do.  You need to tidy her house"
(M)'Fine, fine, fine, when I drop her kids off I'll ask if she needs help with tidying her house (I bet she'll say no)'  At this point we have to be all wondering why the spirit is still talking to me..........sheesh)
I drop her kids off then I'm like 'Hey so I'm going out with Dru tonight but I get home around 7:30 and I can come over and help you tidy your house if you'd like'
(Friend)"Oh there's no way, don't worry about it I'll be fine"
(S) "Melissa, you need to tidy her house"
(M talking to spirit) "I know, I know I'm working on it"
(M to mate) "I'm coming over, so I'll text you when I'm getting home and will see how you're feeling and will help out alright"
(F) 'Ok that'd be really nice'

I text her and she accepted my help and I promptly got out of my nice outfit, put on my work clothes and went over and swept and mopped her floor while we chatted away.  We got her whole kitchen beautiful looking and it wasn't even a big deal to do it................like at all.  Dru didn't care, he was asleep on the couch when I got home anyway, no biggie there, and my mate had her kitchen clean and felt that much more able to cope with her weekend to come.
I felt a little ashamed of my lack of enthusiasm to help out and promptly have tried to let Heavenly Father know I'll try to do better next time and maybe listen THE FIRST TIME and have LESS prompting needed for me to serve others.

When I'm depressed I don't wanna serve.
When I'm feeling better I DO wanna serve and it makes me feel better.
When I'm depressed I refuse to listen to the spirit because I'm in a downward spiral that doesn't feel like I deserve, believe, need, want help.
When I'm feeling better I'm more open so the Lord can 'talk' to me and let me know what the plan is and how to execute it.
When I'm depressed I don't like people.
When I'm feeling better I do.

If I'm depressed, I need to get help.
If I'm not, I need to help others, no judgments, no questions, just action and love.
There's my little life lesson for the last few weeks in a nutshell.
Thanks for reading..............................moving on..........................hopefully, mostly upwards!!!!

Wolf to bear

 Last night was the blue and gold, it's a big deal, scout night.
I made 2 dozen sugar cookies for the occasion with blue icing on top, which we promptly forgot when we arrived!!!
So............Dru drove all the way home and picked them up and they were one of the first cookies eaten I noticed.  So lucky we brought them back.  I didn't want those bad boys hanging around in our fridge!!  I had already eaten two!!  My sugar cookies are just THAT GOOD!!!
You cannot resist their powers............ahem..............moving on.
So I didn't know it was as big of a deal as it actually was right?
So here I was, making dinner for our family when Dru came home and said "Isn't it dinner at the scouts thing tonight?"  I'm like "I don't think so"  He's like "You better call Rachelle and ask her just in case"
Rachelle is my 'go to' person for scouts.  She usually rings me every tuesday to remind me it's on actually, cause I always forget!!
So I call Rachelle and she tells me yes it's a dinner and it starts at SIX!!
What the ..................... it was 5:38pm.
Here I was making dinner and not planning on arriving until 7pm!!
So we packed dinner up for the next night and promptly got ourselves dressed and ready and sprinted out the door.  Hence the reason we forgot the cookies!

They had assigned tables with the kids faces as the center pieces.  It was pretty cute.  We sat with a new family in our ward and chatted away inbetween me trying to figure out where Emiko had gone every 5 mins.
The food was alright, ham, cheesy potatoes and salad with a roll.
One of the sisters in our ward made this awesome cake for the occasion.  She's a legend.  Then there was sugar cookies.
Then the badge handing out began.
Masaru was the first name called.  It was really nice actually.  He advanced from a bobcat to a wolf and so got that badge and he got four yellow beads on this white thing, I'm not exactly sure what that's about, and he got a gold and silver arrow.  I'm not really sure what they are for either.  All I know is we signed off on certain assignments in his book, and those are all the badges he got.  He seemed super happy and so I'm super happy for him.
I even made out with a pin of a wolf on it.  It can remain on that shirt, so whenever I wear it, it can just be hanging out there.
I guess they realize that the mother actually does a ton of work for their little cubscout and we deserve a badge as well?
It was a nice gesture at any rate.
So last night we got home and I spent an hour hand sewing all his stuff on.  I did the arrows wrong though so am going to have to go back and re-do those ones....................oh well......................I'll just look at my wolf pin and remember I'm a superstar according to the cubscout programme, and carry on right?

Stuff

 Couple of things.
Since putting the girls together Yuki has only woken up once scared.
I can't tell you how awesome it is to have these two liking sleeping together.
I thought FOR SURE Emiko would be wandering around the room, coming into our bed at nights, not napping, but nope....................she's napping, staying in her own bed, been zero problems.
It's a miracle!!
I'm really glad that we had this thought to do this.
 Dru slept with his brother, he thinks, until his brother was 12!!  I dunno if this is true, but I wonder if that is one of the reasons why they're so close?
I asked Dru "Did you and your brother stay up all night talking?"  He said "I don't remember ever talking"
Hahahahaha
Sounds about right.  Dru would've been asleep in about 2.5 seconds so Ryan wouldn't have had a chance really.  WELCOME TO MY WORLD!!!!
Anyway getting back to topic........................these girls are doing great and we love it.  
BEST.DECISION.EVER!!!

Onto other news.
This is a drawing Takeshi did for me.  It looks pretty cute right?  But wait till I explain it a little more THEN you'll think it's EVER BETTER!!!!
So, see that man in the middle?  See how he's got these blue squiggles in his hands, feet, and tummy?
Yeah Takeshi told me those are HIS BONES!!!
Right, right!!!!!  I know!!  Pure awesomeness!!
Then he wanted me to write 'Dear Mum.........................Love Takeshi' on a piece of paper so he could copy it.
So if you have a close look, the words Dear and Mum and Love and Takeshi are all on the paper.  Kinda randomly, well not kinda, very randomly, but still there none the less.
Now you think it's that much cooler don't you?
And it is.

Every now and then in my busy life I stop to take a picture or look at a picture or listen to a story and reflect on how awesome it is to watch these guys grow and how fast it's happening.  I also reflect, daily, on how thankful I am that my kids are alive and healthy.  What a blessing to have those two things in my children and in my life.
Love them.

The Ranch House

So I've said this before but just for a refresher course............Dru, our brother in law and his father all build an addition onto this ranch house.  After they spent roughly 9 months doing that they offered us to stay there once or twice a year when their family weren't using it.
It's nice and big, now, and so it's a great place for the whole Nakaya clan to meet up and hang out.
Dru's sister's family from LA and his brother's wife couldn't be there, but the rest of the clan were there and it was a great time.
So we arrived at lunch time on Friday and Dru worked from the cabin for a few hours while I unpacked and the kids played.
It was great when everyone else showed up.
My kids were talking and talking and talking about going to the ranch house FOREVER!!!  Which is great and all but you kinda get sick of hearing about it ALL.THE.TIME!!
I need to try and NOT tell them about these things until the LAST MINUTE.  But the problem is, is that they overhear you talking about it with your spouse or family on the phone and the 'cat's outta the bag' so to speak.
I had to tell the kids that 'enough was enough' and 'no more questions about when we'd be there'
I was so over it.
So finally their cuzzies showed up and I barely saw my two eldest kids after that.

This is what the kids did for the WHOLE 3 DAYS.  They had the best time going up and down and up and down this long driveway with snowmobiles and 4 wheelers as well as the 'razor' seen here in this video {above}
They were in heaven.  You'd think they'd get sick of it, but they never did, which was fine by us.
It rained and so the snow was pretty crazy and so the men didn't get a chance to get some good snowmobiling in which is sad.

Friday night we decided to celebrate Masaru's and Emiko's birthday together because all the family was together.
I made this Totoro sugar cookie which turned out yummy.  Masaru loved it which is great.

Emiko still isn't too sure about opening presents but eventually got into it.  She got some much needed clothes and these puzzles.  She loves all of it.

 Masaru got some much coveted legos, a wonderful sketch book and pencils (which he's used plenty) and an awesome dragon book which he loves.  He was very happy and those gifts kept him busy all weekend when he wasn't outside.

The weekend was full of olympics, good food, good company and relaxation.  Here's my brother in laws watching a movie 'together'.  I had to get a picture cause I thought it was quite funny.
It's a long time to get to and from this place, but it was worth it.
Our night time sleeping wasn't the best, hey, what do you do?  You pull your socks up for the good of your family and 'deal with it'
I'm glad we went.  I even worked out once!!  Ya me.

Valentines

 Valentines this year was spent in the car, cabin, mates house.  It was a busy day.
Dru and I wrote these before we left and we just got the kids some lollies from the store with glow sticks and suprized them at our friends place that morning.
We were on our way to the ranch house in Wyoming (another post) and so I had to plan ahead.
I'm quite proud of myself to tell you the truth.
The kids loved it.

 Just what we wrote.
My computer is going through a few glitches and so, yes, these are sideways and that's how it's gonna stay.  The kids can just turn the blog book sideways when they read them, not a big deal.

 Yuki and I celebrated for a couple of days by doing her hair in some heart shaped ways.
I follow a couple of hair blogs and get all my ideas (well most of them) from there.
She got a lot of comments.

 

To be honest she's sick of me doing her hair.  3 out of 5 days she simply wants to wear it out and have it brushed, which I'm fine with.  I have another daughter with great hair.  So I've got a few more years of hairstyling in me!!!

She looks good with her hair out anyway, but a couple of times a week she'll let me do it, which I appreciate.

 

The valentine on the right is the one I made for the children's classrooms.  It was easy peasy and NOT candy.  Two for two.  Plus all kids like glow sticks right?  And as long as the don't cut them open (hard to do) and drink them (they deserve to be poisoned) then they're wonderfully safe and fun right?  It worked out low key for me and cheap.  Love it.

 

Dru and I did this questionnaire together on our trip to the ranch house.  It was fun to talk and have these prompts.

The one thing I ask for and will continue to ask for each Valentines is some kind of poem/note/creative thing from Dru.

No $ spent, just thought.  He's so gifted with his writing and his creativity and romance when he puts his mind into it. 

We get busy though and life happens and so I pretty much demand it once a year on Valentines.  He semi hates it.  Dru doesn't like people telling him what to do in a certain way or pushing him into a corner, including me, but because he knows I love it, he does it.  And such is a marriage.  Give and take to keep each other happy.  On this day  he gives and I take ;)

Every year he does great, some years he's been late, some years he's been on time.  This year he was ready, prepared and early!!!  First time that's ever happened.

It was also the first year he got me a gift, which was totally unexpected.  

So he wrote a beautiful note (which won't be put up here) and got me something special which I love.

I think it was a great valentines for all.

Some of the questions I remember answering are as follows:

#5 We both said when we went down to Vegas and saw Seinfeld.  It was pretty awesome.

#6 I said Christ coming to the America's as well as the Spartan war.  Dru said the signing of the declaration.

#9 D: Fun and pretty.  M: Pretty private but confident.

#11 D: Love.  M: Forgiveness.

#12 D: Musical instrument  M: Being as good as you at mountain biking

#14 Losing each other.  (we actually don't really fear too much or even think about our fears, we're not really a 'fear' kinda couple, so this is the best we could come up with on the spot)

#16 D: Homecoming talk  M: Watching me play sports.

#17 D: Outgoing  M: Private  (we laughed and laughed at this one.  So opposite)

#21 D: Bali  M:Living in Utah

#22 Both of us said 1 mission 2 marriage 3 having our kids

#28 D: Hard work  M: Education

#30 D: She's awesome  M:  He's pretty private so you won't get much out of him!

#31 D: Peeps in Japan M: My Dad

#33 D: Serving, helping and giving to people  M: Making people feel good about themselves

#34 Both of us said 'People who can control their tempers'

#37 D: The law  M: History

Pretty fun right?

Now you have a 'go to' for road trips with your hubby!!

You're welcome ;)

Mad skillz?

Takeshi got this gun for Christmas and like to draw targets and shoot at the target.
He's still got a bit of practice to do right?
Hahahaha love it.

Another year...........another blog book!!

Some people think books are obsolete in this world as we can get them all on our phones, kindles, laptops and tablets.
I'm NOT one of those people.
I believe in books and touching them and turning the pages and having them in my hands.  Especially for my children.
Don't get me wrong, technology is important and has it's place, I mean we are saving trees when we download a book on a kindle right?
But I like having something in my hands to hold and read and feel.
My blog books is one of these things.
In your house you're free to do and think what you want, but in mine..................I print out my yearly blog into a book and it makes me feel accomplished, great inside, and like I've actually got something tangible for my kids to hold and read a little of history.
You never know what the future holds when it comes to the internet and how/where it'll be.
Call me old fashioned if you must, but doing these blog books helps me to realize why I blog, what it's for and WHO it's for.
It keeps me grounded and motivated.
I love journalling.  I always have.  I have journals from birth until right now.  I've always found them to be important, so when I found out about blogging it was like it was made JUST FOR ME and I've always loved it.
I'm a faster typer than writer.
I tried the scrapbooking thing and have realized it stresses me out too much.
Blogging is my place to let my thoughts out to family and friends and I'll be doing it for as long as I can.
I'm sad it's died down a bit.  I liked reading about people's families and keeping up with how they're doing.  I have people tell me 'Oh it's great to know what you're up to' and I feel like saying 'Yeah it'd be great if you did the same thing, cause this is a one sided relationship we've got going on here mate'
But whatever man..................point is.................I'm happy and here's some shots of last year's blog book.

 I think I started in 2007 and have printed off every.single.blog post that I've ever done!!
Here are all the books hanging out happily together.
I accidentally printed 2011's book as 2012 one year so have an excessive amount of 2012 books hahahaha
Whatever man.
This book took me one morning to put together.
That's it!!
So easy and fast for me.  It's a no brainer for me really.  I like the programme I use 'blurb.com' and it works out really well for me every year.
Because I have so much pictures, writings etc it's not INSTANT when you're working on it.  It take a little time to move from spot to spot, but that doesn't bother me.
It MAY bother you, but I've yet to find another programme that's as easy as what these guys have AND as cost effective.
One year I looked up some other ones and it just wasn't possible with the amount of journalling I have in one year and it was going to be SUPER expensive. 
I'm glad for blurb and hope they stick around for many more years.................otherwise I'll have to get creative!!

Gifts and celebration

 Here's the necklace I got made for mum for her 60th.
My girlfriend made it.  She's pretty awesome man.
It's got the initials of all 7 of us on it and mum and dad's birthstones.
Great right?

Here's Llewellyn, happy, with his family. 

Here's Llewellyn's little girl, Ari.

Here's Mum and Pete on her special night in Taupo with my bro and sis and their families.

Here they are at a Thai restaurant.

Mum's holding her gift from all of us.  2 Michael Buble tickets in concert and a night at a hotel and a dinner voucher.  She was pleased as punch.  The concert is in May.

My sister and her family and mum. 

Bunch of good looking peeps if you ask me.
Mum wrote on face book that she had the best time and loves all of us and is glad for her life with us.
She's so beautiful right?
Love you mum
xox

'Emotional' week

So this past week was a rough one for me 'emotionally'.
I haven't had a week like this for a long time.
I only worked out twice, I'm sure that had something to do with it.  I know I need endorphins like I need drugs.  I always feel good and have energy etc.
So none of that last week.
It was that time of month, so combine that with not working out and not eating the best I think it just spiraled down hill.
I haven't felt depressed in a while but last week I felt depressed.
Nothing could kick the grey cloud that hung around me.
This weather isn't helping either.  I need sunshine man.
Maybe I'll go to a tanning bed and get some fake sun hahaha
Today I feel a little better.
I'm excited about the olympics and Dru and I have been watching it constantly.  We all love it and the kids are into it as well.
Masaru even made countries flags with legos!!  I'll get some pic's.  They're pretty cute.

In other news today, well today in USA is tomorrow in NZ so today is Mum's 60th birthday.
I'm excited for her.
I'm glad she's been around for 60 years.
It's been nice to have her around for my entire life as well.  It's been a huge help to me ;)
My mum is pretty awesome.
There's no fluff with mum.  Mum is all business and you either shape up or get shipped out. 
I find myself being a lot like my mother.....funny that right?
There's not much fluff around me.  If your looking for 'kindness' you need to go somewhere else.  I'll serve, listen, help out but I've got little tolerance for people who aren't helping themselves.  This is probably why I won't get a leadership calling.  I can't be trusted with people's emotional lives.  I may crush them slowly!!
I like my mother and I love her as well.
Mum's been good to me and I appreciate that.  She's taught me to be a strong, opinionated woman and to not back down, never give up and believe in myself.
I hope to give the same to my daughters.
She's pro education and all of us have our degree or are working towards one.
She's smart, intelligent, knowledgeable, wise, direct, beautiful and underrated in some cases.
Mum's a good person and I'm glad she's my mother.
We didn't have much, actually we had barely anything growing up, but Mum and Dad did the best they could with the little they had, and for that, I'll always be grateful.
I know Mum loves me.  She's not an affectionate person.  I can probably count on one hand the times I've hugged her but she shows her love in other ways, which is fine.
Mum deserves to have the best birthday ever and I know between my sister and brother they'll do a good job of celebrating her birthday with her tonight.
She's gonna love her present we got her.  But I dunno if I should put it up here cause what if she reads this before she opens it right?
I'll add what we got her tomorrow at the bottom of this post.  I'm excited.
Stay tuned!!

Biting off more than we could chew..........

So we thought for 'family home evening' the other night we'd change things up.
Emiko had been climbing out of her crib and we knew it was time to make the BIG decision to move her into a REAL bed.
BUT in order to do this some BIG changes were gonna have to be made.
I thought it'd be easy and so Dru and I decided to just do it Monday night as a fun activity.
Boy were we wrong.
I dunno what we were thinking but by the time we'd just done enough to have the kids bed's made up it was 10:15pm!!!
Dru and I were so exhausted we just slipped into bed and fell right asleep.
So WHAT did we change you ask?
Why let me tell you.

In the boys room WE WERE going to have two single beds tucked in close together.  Yuki's single and the top part of the boys bunk, single.  If that makes sense?
See in the boys room USED to be the bunk.  The single was at the top and the double was on the bottom.
So we took that apart, kept the top single and pulled in Yuki's single.
No matter what way we figure it we were going to have to take that damn bookshelf out.  We huffed and puffed and moved and messed and vacuumed and washed.
Then we came up with the brilliant idea to just try to makeshift a bunk.
Dru drilled and steadied and measured and vacuumed and VOILA...................makeshift bunk bed!!!!
NOW the boys had so much room they could afford to place a LEGO TABLE in the corner.
BONUS.
They couldn't be more happy.

See that beautiful made up bunk bed we've got going on there hahaha
Dru still needs to make the top a little stronger, so we told Masaru until then he needs to take it easy up the top there and not jump around too much.
Also note that there's ZERO rails stopping him from falling out? 
This is why we put the tent up again.  If he's in the tent, there's a GREAT chance he won't fall to his doom in the middle of the night.

I'm just glad it could all work out and fit in to be honest.
I know it seems 'cluttered' and 'sardines in a can' like but it is what it is man and the boys are happy.

Soooooooo the girls ended up getting the double bed.
This is so they can sleep together.
The first night I put Emiko in here she looked at me as if to say 'Seriously Mum, you're putting me to sleep in here'
I started laughing.

But it's working out.
Sure she has more freedom and mucks around more.  But Yuki seems to be a little happier and told me she likes the arrangement.
Although last night she was screaming Dru's name and he went and checked on her and I'm not sure what happened.  Then Takeshi woke up and I went and rescued him from waking Masaru.  He was screaming out Masaru's name.  So Takeshi ended up in our bed and Dru ended up somewhere for a while then back in our bed.
Bit of a rough night.
ANYWAY....................................the last two days Emiko has STILL napped.  Yesterday's one just took a little longer.  It helps that I can lock the door.  So I just leave her in there and pop in ONCE to tell her off and then she's asleep.
Takeshi's the only child I had to lay with to help sleep and I swore I'd never do that again.  I ended up sleeping every time and half the time Takeshi didn't. 
I don't cottonball my kids when it comes to sleep time man.  That's just me though, so if you do the whole read your kids a million books and sing to them, good for you.
I wasn't raised that way.
Prayer, then bed.  You want books read, you should've asked me to read them to you during 'awake' hours, same with songs.
Once 7:30pm hits I go into the zone man.
ANYWAY..........................sorry about that..................

The place on Monday night was a DISASTER!!!!  There was stuff EVERYWHERE.  We also have a crib and a mattress if anyone wants it!!
So it took us all of Tuesday plus Tuesday night to get everything in it's new/old place and to catch up with all the washing.  Actually who are we kidding, I'm still not caught up!!  But at least all the rooms are how they should be and once we get rid of the crib then I'll have my livingroom back.
So in hindsight, which is always 20/20, we SHOULD'VE done this on a Saturday.  But what's done is done and things are looking good and I'm glad for the changes.
I can't believe Emiko is such a big girl now.  Next milestone..................potty training.....................!!
I had big plans for the new year but I'm struggling just to keep up with the day to day stuff, so potty training has been put on hiatus for a while until I'm feeling more 'with it' which is gonna be a while is my guess.
So yaaa for big changes.  Hopefully we wont' have to change anything now until we move into another place.  Which is just fine by me.
I'm one of those people who place their furniture in their house and then just leave it forever.  I don't feel the need to have to change things up you know, like.............EVER!!
Maybe I got that from my upbringing as well.  Who knows.

Our House

So we sold our house.
Last April the lease was up for our renters and we decided 'enough was enough' and went our separate ways.
Dru fixed up a bunch of stuff in the house and got it looking awesome. 
He was back and forth and back and forth between here and there and there an here.
With a lot of help from his father and some others he got it done and we got it up on the market at the end of July.
It looked pretty awesome.  It was a pity we were never planning on living in Salt Lake City again as it is a decent sized house on a decent sized lot in a decent area of Bountiful around a decent amount of people in a decent ward.  Oh well.  Can't beat the Simplot job man and at the end of the day, that's what it comes down to.
So knowing Boise is our home we went forward with selling our place.
We'd had it since 2003.  Both Masaru and Yuki had lived there, but Yuki barely.  She wouldn't remember.  She was 11 months when we moved to Moscow Idaho for law school.
It feels like another life in that house.  We never did live in the WHOLE house either, only ever in the top part of it.
I was gutted to leave it and the neighbourhood, but the longer and longer I was away from it the more distant it crept from my memory and my emotions until today, writing about it, it brings me almost no emotions to sell it for good.
Funny right?
I loved that house and thought we'd be there forever but now I'm over it.
Life moves forward and me right along with it I guess.
We got an offer on the house within the first couple of days with it being on the market.  We were in lake Powell though and so couldn't get back to the offer until we got home.
Looking back the offer was a good one and we should've taken it, but we didn't.  We were stupid not to, but hind sight is always 20/20 and here's the reasons we didn't.
First off, we don't know what we're doing, let's get that outta the way right up front.
Secondly, at the time we were looking at a piece of property here in Boise and needed X amount of money to purchase it.  We were THIS close to buying it but needed X amount of money to be able to afford it.
The offer was quick and there were two other offers that came after it.  We figured if we'd gotten 3 offers in a week the price we'd listed MUST be good, so we might as well hold out for the price we wanted so we could get this land freehold.
So we said no to the offer.
Stupid.
It's all a gamble though and the Nakaya's aren't good gamblers it turns out hahahaha
I don't consider us a greedy couple, I just think we thought we should hold out for better, so we did.
We felt good about it at the time and the payments for the house weren't a big deal.
With Dru being in contract with Simplot we were making enough money for us to cover the mortgage and our rent, no worries.  So we also weren't desperate enough either I guess.
We figured we could hold out and it not be a burden on us financially, which was true at the time.
Then NO MORE OFFERS.
August rolled on by, September, October and then November.
Now November was the month that Dru got the permanent offer from Simplot and while being 'pleased as punch' about it, it came with a couple of side effects.
The one that affected us the most was paying taxes.
Paying our taxes every pay check, retirement and medical insurance cut our monthly income down by $1000.  That $1000 was paying our mortgage.  Now we were $1000 down a month and had zero to pay our mortgage!!
We started feeling the heat.
November rolled by then December then cut to January.
With Christmas and these last couple of payments we were struggling a little.  Things started to get a little more desperate and I started getting a little more stressed about the whole thing.
Now I don't want to come across as ungrateful or a moaner.  I know Dru and I do well, I know we have much and I know we're blessed.  Please don't mis-read my intentions here.  I'm just writing down my feelings and such.
Anyway, this was on my mind a lot.  Ever since September I started to worry about how we were going to do it.  I always felt good about it, however and was re-assured that things would be ok when I prayed about it.
In November I remember doing my scripture study and having an overwhelming feeling of peace flood over me about the whole thing and that it would be taken care of and to trust.
I tried to hold onto that feeling desperately.
I was fasting each month for our house to sell.  My family in NZ did a family fast for our house to sell in December.  It was nice to get the support from them.  They each knew my worry as I talk to them constantly and they love me.  I love my family so much.
Nothing happened in December, which we kinda figured.  Who'd buy right before Christmas right?
January came and I fasted again.
This time I somewhat changed what I asked for however.
Instead of simply asking for our house to sell, I also said 'But if it doesn't sell this month, Heavenly Father, please help me to learn how to budget with the $$ that we have so I can feed my children.
We'd come to a point where we didn't have enough $$ for food for the next 2 weeks in our budget and so had to start getting a little 'creative' with our $$ and dinners.
I'd done a lot of soul searching in the last couple of months with heavenly father as well as being humbled with this experience.
I had to trust that things were going to work out.  I knew it, and it's all I had as we were at a desperate point.  I think this is the reason I changed my prayer, because I had to be willing to trust that things would be ok.
I'd said to Dru 'The next person to make us an offer we need to just TAKE' hahahaha
Anyway that week we'd gotten an offer.
We'd already taken the price down twice since August.
The offer wasn't that great, but we were going to figure out a way to just take it.
Then another offer came in and it was really high and really great.
We couldn't believe it.
So we took it.
The other people back in August wanted to rip out the carpets and didn't want to give us more money due to doing this and that to it and the next thing, they were a couple with no kids and I didn't like that plan so it felt good to say no.
This next time around I told Dru to tell me NOTHING about the people buying it.  To simply give me numbers and we'd base our decision on that and that ALONE.
Best thing for me was ZERO emotion involved about the whole thing.
My sister in law told me more about the people buying the house than I knew, which was nothing, and I liked it that way.
It worked better.
So they gave us a list of things they'd like us to do on the house and that's where Dru was this past weekend..........down doing the 'list' of things for this family.
It's finally finished and now we're simply waiting to close.
The house looks good.  It's a great house.  I hope this family loves it and looks after it.  I hope this family know how lucky they are to be in that neighbourhood with that street, school and ward.
Wait...............I'm getting a little emotional about it now................go figure.
That house did so much for us, we learnt so much from it.  I'll always be grateful for that house and what it's given us.
Who knows what the future holds for the Boise Nakaya family.
We have house dreams.  We'll see if they pan out I guess.  But for now we'll just relish in the fact that we can have enough money each month to feed our family, and be grateful for it.
Thanks Bountiful Utah house................................for being our first.

A night to remember!

So Dru was away this weekend.
It was fine.  For the most part I was relaxed, but I didn't clean much at all.
Sunday was the hardest for me.  That's the day I got my period.  So it was an emotional weekend LOL
I couldn't be bothered with it all and so that's not the right attitude to have is it?
I've decided that being without Dru is hard because I'm used to having him around to help me out and to do certain things on the weekend.  When he's not around, it's harder.
If I was to be a single parent I'd have to completely change my life in order to cope.
I'd have to change my mental status and how I did things.
It would be huge, but necessary to cope, and I'd do it, but it'd suck.  It's nice to have Dru for many reasons and I'm glad he's my partner in crime.

I'll blog about the house next post.

So friday night my mate decided to take ALL of my kids for a movie night!!  It WAS going to be just the three of course.  Who wants to take a baby?  But we were hanging out for a little bit and she just said "Listen, Emiko seems to be doing alright, why don't you just go and I'll take her as well"
Well I jumped on the opportunity a little too quickly I think ;)
I told her to text me and I'd be RIGHT HOME but secretly hoped that Emiko would be alright.
And she totally was.  I'm so glad that my mate suggested it and that Emiko was awesome, as well as the other kids.  I think my kids are pretty easy to babysit, BUT that's all relative isn't it?  Plus I'm bias.

So what did I do?  Well my mum had sent me some money for Emiko's birthday, so I decided to head to Target and look around.
I don't go to the mall.  I think in the 3.5 years I've been here I've shopped at the mall roughly 4 times.
I'm not a shopper, OR SO I THOUGHT!!!
Turns out I'm just not a shopper WITH MY CHILDREN.
After doing some shopping at Target I realized that it's not that bad WITHOUT KIDS.
It's my children who were hindering my shopping experiences.
It's not like I have an urge to shop, or care to shop, but can I just say how awfully pleasant it was to shop ALONE WITH NO ONE.
I don't know why I don't do this more.............probably $$.  But it was so nice to go wherever I wanted.  What a difference it made for me.  I felt so free hahahaha
Listen I love my kids right?  We all know that and you all should have testimonies about it, but I'm telling you I have to have all eyes on kids when shopping, and some places are worse than others and if it's shopping where I have to try things on?  Forget about it.
So you know what place I went to AFTER Target?
VICTORIA'S SECRET!!
That's right folks.  I did it.  I took the plunge and it was AMAZING.
Oh my goodness that place is so awesome.
Let's just preface this with the fact that I haven't spent more than $10 on a bra AND MOST of my bra's are SPORTS bra's.
I'm thinking to myself 'Come on Milz, just check it out and see if it's really THAT much better than a $10'
I had some left over Christmas $$ and thought I'd get ONE bra.
So I guess this lady saw me wandering around aimlessly and approached me and asked if I was alright.
I looked at her and said "Not really, I want to buy a bra but I've got no clue what size I am or what bra I want or even where to start"
She laughed and said she did this all the time and they had a 'routine' they do with 'first timers' and took me into the back and we got started.
It was pretty cool.
First she measured me to get my size.
Then she got me a bra to see if that was right.............it was.
Then she asked me what kind of bra I wanted.
Then once she had that she brought 8 different kinds of that ONE type of bra to see which one suited me best.
I narrowed it down to three.
She then said "You'll be able to make your decision after you choose certain colours and try those on"
So we went out with the three and I chose colours.
I chose cream, black and red.
I LOVED the red one but it was pretty flashy pants man, like I was in a vegas show or something.
So I went with the black and white one.
She wrote down my size and the bras I liked so if I decided to come back I'd know just the bra's I'd want without all the hooplah.
This ONE bra was $50!!!
I couldn't even believe I was going to spend $50 on ONE SINGLE BRA.
But I did and ask me if I regret it............go on..............ask me.
NO I DON'T.
I'm telling you man this bra is AMAZING.  I feel SO GOOD in it and it holds everything SO WELL and I've got no 'back fat' bumps and great coverage and it's SO COMFORTABLE and BEAUTIFUL.
I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE it and feel AMAZING in it.
I"m bringing sexy back with these old nursing boobs and I'm loving it. hahahahaha
Turns out the extra $40 is worth it, if you have it, which I did!!

So thank you victoria's secret.  Turns out you guys really DO know what you're doing when it comes to boobs, and not just perky 18 year old boobs either.  Turns out you know what to do with 36 year old, breast fed 4 kids, not pointing at the sun anymore,  boobs as well, and I love you for it.

This won't be the last time Victoria's secret will be seeing me that's for sure!!  I'm hooked. 
So if you're a rich reader of mine and would like to know what to purchase me for a gift?  Victoria's secret gift card hahahahahaha