It's happened.............

Yuki + sissors +  gullible little brother + Yuki's promise of 'making it straight'  = ^^^^THIS!!!!

Video

This video was shared with me and so I'm going to share it with you.
I dunno if you've seen it before, but I haven't and I thought it was a great summary of our church.

Back to School

{Masaru looks like a GIANT compared to Yuki right?}

So school officially started on Tuesday and the kids seem happy about it.
I didn't get a picture of them BEFORE they headed out so here they are AFTER the first day of school.
Yuki said she's made 2 friends and so now has 3 since she already knew a boy from pre-school. 
When I dropped her off yesterday one of the girls came running over to meet her and stand in line with her.
There were TONS of parents there with their kindergarten kids waiting outside on the second day and I just pulled up and gave Yuki a kiss and she jumped out while I left.
I felt a tinge of guilt like I was a 'bad mother' so when this girl came running up to Yuki I silently said "Yessss" and kept moving forward towards home knowing she'd be ok.
It's funny that we KNOW our kids, but STILL let's outside things make us doubt.
I KNEW dropping Yuki off would be JUST FINE, yet seeing all those parents sitting and waiting with their kids made me second guess my decision!  Fortunately it was alright.
Yuki doesn't need her hand held like Masaru did and that suits me just fine.
Masaru seems happy with his class and with his teacher. 
I'm more worried about Masaru since school is a little harder for him academically.  I just hope he has a great teacher who'll work well with him.
I've heard nothing but good things about this teacher, so that makes me happy.  So time with tell with her and with Masaru.  We talk about school every night (so far) at the dinner table and the kids show enthusiasm, comfort and happiness.  So fingers crossed it stays that way.

Takeshi is asking when he's going to pre-school and I keep telling him we pulled him out and he'll never be going.  I keep telling him he'll be going to kindergarten next year like Yuki.  He runs away and never seems upset about this, yet a few hours later he'll ask the same question and we'll have the exact same conversation.  I'm not sure what's going on, if he has memory loss or simply isn't understanding what's really going on poor thing.  But so far it's been fine and once I put the baby down he has the whole afternoon to himself.  So far we've baked together, watched a movie together and run errands.  Nothing stellar but I dunno if it has to be to be quite honest.

This week has been CRAZY for me.  I'm a 'donkey on the edge' and I don't like it.
We've got something on EVERYNIGHT and Tues and tonight we have 2 to 4 things on!!  I DON'T LIKE IT.  But there's not much I can do about it.
I'm a home body man and I NEED TO BE HOME!! I go mental if I'm too busy.  So I'm trying to just relax amongst chaos and figure out how to handle this week while not yelling at anyone LOL
So far, so good.

Soccer also started up.  It seemed to come so quick!!  So the first game is the 7th.  I've got mixed feelings about that.  I'm gonna have to think long and hard if I wanna stick my kids in soccer next year.  I kinda like the year on and the year off.  So we'll see how I feel.  I'm sure spring will come too early for me next year.
I guess I'll gauge how the kids do and their feelings on the whole thing and go from there.  It all depends on what our life is going to be like next year as well.  We might need NO KIDS IN ANYTHING kind of a year.   So we'll see.  For now I've paid and signed up and it is what it is.  So I'll move forward with it and keep my complaints to a minimum and zero infront of the kids.

Wish me luck.

Big News

So Dru was offered a job at Simplot......................officially.
We couldn't be happier about the whole thing.

Dru went in for an interview and was given the 'shake down' and then a pat on the back, so to speak.
I'll let him write about it more if he so desires.
He officially starts at the end of October and GUESS WHAAAAAT?  We get medical, visual and dental insurance started November 1st!!  And the insurance is PURE AWESOMENESS!!
Dru hasn't been on insurance for over 2 years and me about 1.5 years.  It's been humbling how blessed we've been to not have anything happen (yet) in that time period.  I guess I shouldn't jinx it since we have 2 more months!!
The children havn't been on any insurance since March of this year.

Before you ask if he got a pay rise.................no he didn't.  We're on the same BUT with insurance, so that's alright by me.

We owe a lot to his mentor Mark. 
We owe a lot to the 'food group' part of simplot who vouched for Dru and basically told them 'HIRE HIM or WE WILL'.  It always helps to have 'people' on your side right?
Dru needs props for being awesome, because people can only show you the door, you have to prove yourself worthy to 'walk through' so to speak, and I think Dru has proven himself with his 'mad lawyering skillz'. ;)
But most of all the Lord has seen fit to help us in this endeavor in our lives and has given us blessings throughout to help out 'simplot' dreams come true.
We owe all to the Lord and hope we can continue to serve him and people with service and love.  When much is given, much is required.  I know this and hope that I can serve the Lord and His people with all my heart, so the Lord and others will always know that without the Lord, both Dru and I are nothing.
We owe all to the Lord and recognize Him in all things, including this blessing in our lives and all other blessings He constantly gives us.
I love Him, I love Dru and I'm humbled and grateful for the opportunity Dru has to be working for such a great company and to be working in a place that he loves going to daily. 
What a blessing.

Takeshi

“It is a fundamental truth that the responsibilities of motherhood cannot be successfully delegated. No, not to day-care centers, not to schools, not to nurseries, not to babysitters. We become enamored with men’s theories such as the idea of preschool training outside the home for young children. Not only does this put added pressure on the budget, but it places young children in an environment away from mother’s influence. Too often the pressure for popularity, on children and teens, places an economic burden on the income of the father, so mother feels she must go to work to satisfy her children’s needs. That decision can be most shortsighted. It is mother’s influence during the crucial formative years that forms a child’s basic character. Home is the place where a child learns faith, feels love, and thereby learns from mother’s loving example to choose righteousness. How vital are mother’s influence and teaching in the home—and how apparent when neglected!”
― Ezra Taft Benson

So my brother posted this quote on face book on our 'church discussions' group.  Dru and I read it and started thinking and thinking and talking and talking and it hit home to us.  We liked what it said and have thought long and hard about what is best for our family.  It's funny, you know as I've been getting a few 'family' orientated talks, quotes, lessons lately and it's made me really think deeply about my role, my kids, our lives and how I need to be so much better, but not in a depressing way.......in a good way.

So after some discussion we decided not to put Takeshi in pre-school this year.  I'm going to keep him home with me for his last year before he starts school next year.  We feel really good about it and are happy with our decision.  

I think pre-school for Yuki was great and Masaru as well, but with Takeshi it seems real quick that he's off to school since his birthday is in July and school starts the next month.  I feel as if the Lord has intervened and let us know that this last year we need to keep Takeshi home with us where he can be close to me and I can have the most influence over him before his new schooling starts next year.  I feel good about it and now I need to figure out what we're going to do together.

I broke the news to Takeshi and he was just like 'whatever' about it.  So that makes things great.  I'm going to work hard this year on making our last year together special and focus on teaching him good things and being the best I can be for him before he goes into the system.  I'm not too sure what that entails or means, but I'm sure as I keep close to the spirit I'll be able to make this year with Takeshi what the Lord would have it be for him. 

I had a great talk with my brother the other day and he told me something I hadn't thought of.  He goes "What environment do you need to feel the spirit?"  So I thought and thought about that and am making it my goal to make sure I work hard to be in that environment so I can keep close to the spirit.  I don't know what it is but lately I'm feeling as if I need to 'step up' in my duties as a parent and need to meet the task with an eye single to the Lord, asking for constant help so I can help my/His children the best I can.

I've got a lot to work on.  I yell at my kids, I lose my temper with Dru, I'm not a nice mother/wife sometimes.  I'm ashamed of this.  I joke about it to make myself feel better but it's no joke, it's a weakness that I need to work on in order to be better for my kids and I need to start trying harder to make it into a strength.  I don't want my kids to look back on their childhood and only remember me being mean.  I still have a chance, since my kids are still younger, to make this goal a reality, but it's going to take me 'stepping up' and I can't do it on my own.  I need the Lord and I know he's helping me to see this.  I also know that with His help I can do it.  As I put forth faith, work to stay close to the spirit , continue seeking revelation, and acting on promptings I can be better.  If I believe in Jesus and in his healing power, I'll make the changes necessary to be worthy to be the kind of mother that deserves these children in my life.  They're good kids and they deserve better, but not better as in a different mother, they're suppose to be with ME, therefore they deserve a better ME and only with the Lords help can I give that gift to them.  I can do it, and believing is the first step right? 

Milestone

{She's got an orange multivitamin in her mouth which is making it look weird just FYI}

So today marks a MONUMENTAL moment in Nakaya history...........................Emiko starts nursery today at church.
THIS.IS.EPIC!!
It seems like I've been struggling with babies for around 9 years now and IT'S HAPPENED...........................no more struggling with babies for the last 2 hours of church!!
This is amazing for both Dru and I because at this stage of the game the kids are ready for nursery about now anyway and are a struggle to keep maintained during adult classes.
I'm feeling good about it and almost more relaxed than I've felt in a while.
She'll do great I'm sure ........................ right?
Love my babies but also love being done................................yep....................still!!

Must read

This is an article written/given by Julie Beck (former Relief Society President of the church) talking to the seminary/institute teachers about what and how they should be teaching the youth.
It's excellent and I think all of us need to read it.
It's amazing.
So I hope you click below and take the time to read it.

http://theredheadedhostess.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/08/2009-beck-teaching-the-doctrine-of-the-family__eng.pdf

More pic's

 Another great night mountain biking with these ladies.
We've picked up two more ladies to come with us and they had a fun time.
We ended with a little light left and all had bike lights this time so we were good.
Plus we left a little earlier this time.
This is just so much fun to bike with these women.  We laugh and laugh and push each other and and celebrate our mad biking skillz!!
Each week we get a little more confident and a little bit better.
I'm sad we started this so late in the summer.
Oh well, good to enjoy the moment while it lasts.

Gift

 

Masaru made me this ring yesterday and told me it represented him and was quite proud of it.

It'll go well with my nest necklace so I'm planning on wearing it when I wear that.

Cute right?  I love it.

Thanks bub 

Update

So we go to the Doctor's office and sit down in the room with the nurse.

She asks me how we wanna do this.

I asked Takeshi if he wanted to sit up there on his own or down here on the chair beside me or sit on my knee up on the butcher paper.

He opted for sitting on my knee up on the butcher paper.

The nurse told me to hold his arms just in case he tried to whack the needle away from his leg.

I'd like to state for the record that Takeshi has zero anxiety up to this point!

So I have him on my knee and ask him to hold my hands {really so I can grip his} just so he can have some extra support.

You can tell the nurse is waiting for it..........

She swabs his thigh then dries it then puts the needle in while Takeshi's watching and then pulls it out again.

No reaction, no crying, nothing.  Then Takeshi looks up at me and smiles and talks about the cool tweety bird plaster (band-aide) they'd put on his sore.

The nurse was floored.  She couldn't believe it.  She kept saying 'What a stud your son is'

So she promptly brought him back TWO suckers cause he's 'such a stud'.

Takeshi talked and talked and talked all the rest of the day about how awesome he did and how he did way better than Yuki 'right mum' and how he got TWO suckers cause he did SO AWESOME and didn't scream is head of or even CRY!!

He told anyone and everyone who'd listen.

Honestly man this kid cracks me up.

He's so brave and adventurous it amazes me.

He's tough though cause he's also tough for me to discipline.  I'm having a harder time with him because he's not as attached to things so it's hard to take something away if he doesn't care it's being taken away you know.

I need to figure something out.

He's banned from the babysitter!  So last time she came over I put him in his room and he had to stay there the whole time she was home.  

I gave him two chances and then he lost his babysitter privilege.

Maybe I need to go to a parenting class.

But maybe I just need to sleep..................

The things kids say.........

My girlfriend was telling me the other day that a certain brother at church was questioning Masaru and it went down like this..........

Certain Brother: So does your mother treat you nicely?
Masaru: Yep
CB: Is she good to you?
M: Yep
CB: Sometimes does she get mad at you? {who is this man?}
M: Yeah, but we deserve it.

My friend was laughing at Masaru's loyalty or honesty.  Maybe both?

This morning we had to break it to Takeshi that he was getting a shot today in order to be able to go to pre-school.  This is how it went down..............

Mum: You'll be going to the nurse today.
Takeshi: Why?
Yuki:  Does he have to get a shot?
M:  {thinking hard whether or not to break the REAL truth or just cloud it over with a prettier story.  Going with the truth I say} Yep you'll be getting a shot.
T: Why?  Is it going to hurt?
M: You haven't had your hep A shot and you need that in order to go to pre-school bub.
Y:  You'll be ok
M: {awww that's nice of Yuki to calm his nerves}  You'll be ok bub.
T:  Did it hurt you and Emiko?
Y: Well.................we screamed out heads off.............but you'll be ok I"m sure.
M: {Uncontrollably laughing} Yuki THAT'S ENOUGH THANKS now get to your room and stop trying to comfort your brother.
T: So will I be ok?
M: The doctor will give you a sucker and I'll get you a donut cause you'll be so brave.
Masaru:  If we're good at the doctors do we get a suker and a donut?
M: Not unless you prove your strength by getting a shot.
Mas:  Oh
T:  I get a donut?
M: Yep {please keep focusing on the donut}
T: What does it feel like, does it hurt?
Mas: It's like a pinch, here I'll show you.
M: THAT'S ENOUGH!!!!

Love my kids.
 

1990's Dru

So my sister in law gave me these scrapbook pages she found of Dru.
So I knew I needed to get them on the blog or they'll be lost forever in my gmail archives!!
I'm pretty sure this is him saying goodbye to his family while going into the MTC.
The sign in the background is the giveaway!!

Then here's another one.  If you can't read the writing it says 'Dru's Open House'  Jan 25th 1998.
Another guess is that this meant that he had his chance to say goodbye to everyone and they just all trickled over to give their best wishes to the departing missionary?
Hmmmmmmmmmm I should've talked to Dru before I did this post.
Maybe I'll let him write something at the end.
LOL Look at my nephew!!  He's 16 now.  Crazy!!  Now I'm feeling old :(

Then, lastly, here he is saying his REAL goodbye's to his family while heading out to Japan.  I'm sure you can read this writing {above} right?
I love this picture of him saying goodbye to his grandparents.  I wonder what their thoughts were of him going back to the homeland?
Maybe Dru knows.
Alright so I thought these were fun and I'll just leave this space underneath for Dru to write something if he so desires.
I'm glad Dru served a mission.  It's good he learned Japanese and how to write it and it's good he met the people he met AND little did he know that by choosing to go he was also choosing to meet my brother which in turn allowed him to meet the best thing in his life.....................me ;) 

First Derby

 I've never participated in a pinewood derby before.
They're kinda a big deal over in this country.
I've been to maybe one other derby race before?  I think it might have been when I was volunteering in the cubscouts a few years ago.
Anyway at church tonight they had a family derby race.
You got a block of wood and could do whatever you wanted with it and then needed to bring it to tonights activity and race it to see if your car was the fastest.

 I wasn't even planning on going but Dru talked to Masaru about it and he was all excited to do it and so Dru helped to carve it out a little and get it ready before he left for Seattle this weekend.

 Masaru WAS going to do it as a Hummer, hence the shape, but then changed his mind and wanted to do a Wolverine car.
So after Dru cut, sanded and primed it we painted the final detailed on it and put some weights on the bottom.

 The activity tonight was fun and it was so neat to see all the other cars.  I wish I had gotten a shot of all of them.  Some of them were really impressive.  I thought our car was going to be so awesome and it wasn't the best car by a long shot...............................so I guess I have a lot of learn about this pinewood derby stuff.

Masaru had a really good time and his car won both it's heats but didn't have a fast enough time to go further. 
I'm glad we went. 
I'm sure this car will be hanging out in the toybox now for years to come............and that's just fine by me.

Last night

Last night was my second time mountain biking with my 'lady' friends and it was AWEOME!!
I got my butt kicked and I loved it.
We biked (mostly uphill I'd like to add) 10 miles in 2 hours.
Now that might seem long but try biking mostly uphill in sand.................2 hours feels like a good time when you see the trail and know we're rookies to the sport.
It's empowering to know that each hill I get up it's cause of my hard work and muscles and determination.
Honestly, it's so invigorating for me.
We have lots of fun too.
The only problem was, however, that it started getting dark and we hadn't started the downhill yet.
Dru and my girlfriends husband and both packed a light in our back packs 'just in case'.
Holy moly I sent Dru kisses in the wind for packing that light, as we really needed it.
The downhill was crazy man but so.much.fun!!
I'm not the best at up hills but I kick butt on the downhill.  I never knew I had it in me.  I'm such a wimp!!  Ok maybe I don't 'kick butt' but I'm the fastest out of all of us, so I have that at least right?  I need to get better at the uphill.  I got up around 85% of the hills last night, so that's good enough.
There were a couple of stretches where I thought I was simply going to crash and to embrace it the best I could.  Also there were a couple of stretches where it was this tiny foot (50cm) wide trail and cliff face on the other side of you.  I went slower on that part.
Miraculously I didn't crash. Can you believe that?  Cause I can't.  If you had been with my on that downhill you would've thought we were crazy.  Maybe we are, but whatever.
Two out of the four of us could see and two needed glasses but didn't have them so were basically blind.
Fun times right?
LOL
I was already sore from working out with Chris the day before and knew I'd be feeling this in my legs the next day (today) but I've already worked out today and I'm feeling pretty good.  I can still bend and stretch without anything hurting so far.  Maybe tomorrow will bring the sore legs.  We'll see.

I felt a little sorry for myself last week but this week, after setting some goals, I'm feeling great and know I'll make my goals as I continue to work hard and have fun.
And I'm having tons of fun.

Dru told me that when he went with the husbands that they did our trail except backwards!!  So they did mostly down hill and  a little uphill.
Makes me feel less of a wuss......................real woman uphill right ;)

Just a picture

Anyone else's kids can't stay on their own allotted space and/or sleep like they're about to dive into a pool?

Weekend

I had a really good weekend this weekend and need to record it down.
I took ZERO pictures.
So sorry man, you can stop reading if you'd like.

Dru co-owns a boat with his brother.  We brought it back with us after Lake Powell.
We took it out for the first time since being back on Saturday and had A BLAST.  We invited two of our family friends and were gone from 9:45am until around 3:30pm.
It didn't even feel like it was that long either.  We just had the best time.  The kids loved being towed around on the tube and Masaru knee and wake boarded and did SO WELL.
He wake boarded in Lake Powell but only got up JUST.
This time he was up and able to stay up and try to do things.  I was so impressed and he feels a lot more confident in himself and told me he's looking forward to doing it again.  I'm so pleased with his efforts. 
None of the other children wanted to try anything else, which is fine.
Then a couple of the adults got up and wake boarded as well and they were so happy about it.
My one girlfriend was like 'I'm so happy to know someone with a boat and to be able to do this, I'm so happy, this is the best summer'
I was glad we could help her out with that.  It's fun when you know people are having a good time.
There's 'beaches' all around the 'lake' and so we took to boat up to one of them and had lunch and let the kids play a couple of times for a rest period and talked and swam.
I felt bad for Dru as there was no one to drive the boat to let him wake board and so I told him he needs to teach me how to drive the boat.  He told me he would, so we'll see if it happens.
He said the water was bad anyway and so he doesn't mind and I really don't think he did.  I think he finds happiness is others happiness as well and there was a lot of happiness.

When we got home we had enough time to shower and tidy a little and then we went out with our neighbour friends for Dru and Bo's birthday.  We 'cruized' into town and didn't have anywhere in mind until we made it almost downtown and then someone had to make an executive decision.  That someone was Shannon.
We went to this pub place up on a second story and so it had a nice view and the food was great.
It was fun to be dressed up and out with friends.
We came back to a local ice cream place and purchased dessert then almost rolled home!!!
What a great day.

You know I almost didn't go boating.  I mentioned to Dru that I was thinking of staying home to get the house tidy and he laid the smack down and told me absolutely not.  He said it was a day for family time and I was coming, he said the bathrooms would wait (don't I know it) till Monday and I needed to be with family.
He was right and it was a lot of fun and I'm glad I went.
Those bathrooms are calling my name though as I type this post, I'm trying to ignore them but they'll have their way with me soon enough!!

Then yesterday was a busy Sunday.  Dru and I had a talk in sacrament.  It was on 'Balance'.  That's not exactly a subject I'm an expert on that's for sure.  So it was nice to be able to focus on this for the week and figure out what I was going to say to the congregation you know.
More towards the beginning of the week I 'threw up' all my ideas out on a piece of paper.  Then a couple of days later I got my thoughts into some kind of order and backed them up with scripture and important people!
The bishopric member told us we could go in any order we liked, so I told Dru he was to go first.  Dru always seems to get the shaft when it comes to his talks because he always goes last and he always writes these brilliant talks that he has to cut down or shorten or not even give, cause there's no time.  I read his talk, knew it was awesome and commanded HIM this time that he's to go first so that he gets to share his entire talk without any pressure.  I told him to take his time and tell every story he was going to tell.
So he did.  And it was brilliant.
We were talking about it last week and Dru was telling me that he'd like to simple WRITE talks but not have to GIVE them.  He was wondering if there was a calling or a place for him to be able to do that. 
I told him to ask but probably not.
He loves to write.......................because he's a geek (cute one)
Turns out there was plenty of time though and so I got to share my entire talk as well which is always nice.  My talk could've been adjusted to be shorter, but I looked at the clock and felt good about doing the whole thing.
I'm not sure if I went over.  I'm never too sure when sacrament is suppose to finish to be honest, but I think I stuck to the time.  Who knows.
Dru and I got multiple comments which is a great sign that you said something right and so we felt good about our talks.
Then we did our callings, part of Dru's calling is to put up with a wiggly Emiko while I do MY calling!!  Poor guy.  I think he's over it.  Lucky she's going into nursery soon.
Then there was a 'linger longer' after church.  This is where we bring food and stay after church for a while and chat and get to know people more and become closer as a ward.
I ended up talking the whole time and not getting much food at all.
They need to just make it a proper pot luck though cause everyone's hungry and if you're at the back of the row you end up with no food!!
Snacks isn't cutting it.
Good idea though.
Then we went and looked at this awesome house with our neighbours and talked about what we'd do if we could have it, and got busted by the owner.
Dru made dinner for us and the neighbour beside us who just had a baby!
I talked to a mate on the phone to see how she was doing.
Then after finally putting the kids to bed Dru and I sat on the couch and talked.

Then we decided to get out a NZ drink that my brother had brought over for us and 'celebrate' by drinking it out on the trampoline together while snuggling and star gazing and talking the night away.
Well I tried my hardest to engage Dru in conversation so he didn't go to sleep on the tramp right there and then.
He did well to stay up and talk but then by 10:30pm told me we needed to go to bed and asked me where I get all my night time energy from?
He then proceeded to say "You're all tired until around 8pm and then it's like you get this second wind and could be up till midnight just chatting the night away"
It's true, I don't understand it.  I'm not sure why I'm that way.  But I am.  It comes in handy if I come across someone else like that!!
But then I end up staying up all night talking and am smashed the next day.  So it's lucky Dru's not like that or we'd be in trouble.
Only one night owl per couple right?

Anyway that was my weekend.
It was great and I'm very blessed for numerous reasons.

Conversation

So yesterday we were all just sitting around in the family room and Yuki started a conversation that went something like this..........
Y: "Mum, I really love Dad.  He's so nice to me.  I'm really glad that you married him so that he could be my father"
Masaru: "Yeah thanks mum, I love Dad too and am glad he's my father"
Takeshi: "Me too, I love Dad too"

Awkward pause

Y: "Um I'm glad that Dad married you too mum.  I love you as well.......(mumble, mumble, mumble, mumble) under her breath"
Me:  "What did you say?"

Awkward pause

Y: "I said even though you yell at me"
Me: "Well you yell at me too Yuki"

Looking defensive then looking like a realization is coming over her face

Y: "Yeah I do yell at you sometimes"
Me: "Yeah you do, and so do you Masaru"
Masaru: "Yeah I do"
Me:  "And you do too don't you Takeshi?"
Takeshi: "Yeah"
Me:  "I think we need to all work on not yelling at each other"
All:  "Ok"

I hesitated to put this up her due to letting you look into the ugly side of our house hold.
We don't yell all the time.  I wouldn't say my house is full of contention all the time BUT every now and then there's yelling that goes on.
It's funny you know but Dru occasionally gets upset at the kids as well, yet he's not punished for it by the kids.
Mine gets remembered and his doesn't, therefore he's the favourite cause he's so 'nice' to them.
I'm nice to my kids too though you know.  I do SO MUCH for them ALL DAY EVERY DAY, yet I don't receive the  recognition of it.
I spend more time with the kids so I guess my stats are higher than Dru's in all areas.  I spend more time with them, am more involved with them, do more things with them, nice and not so nice I guess.
Sometimes I get tired of being the bad guy, the upholder of the punishments, the witholder of the 'fun' things due to behaviour problems of my children you know.
I need to work harder on myself, I know this.
I need to set new goals, pray in faith that I'll receive the help I need to know that I'm doing a good job and hopefully to have my daughter tell me she loves me without the small clause at the end.
Motherhood is hard.

Emiko

Look at that little poser.  She knows when to smile when the camera's out now.  It's pretty cute.
This month Emiko will be 18 months!!
I can't believe it but I'm happy.  She's a character this one.  She smart, witty, sassy and fun.
She wants to feed herself now...............like always.  I made her feed herself for most things but would still feed her yogurt and the occasional pudding cup.
No, no, no she's the boss of the food now, all the food, and I can't feed her a thing anymore.  She wants to be in total control and I've had to let go and let her.  It's more of a mess than I'd like but whatever man.  She's feeding herself and learning how with each time and she gets most of it out of the tubs.
She's pretty awesome and I don't mind cleaning the mess up 98% of the time.
She has 7 teeth with another back tooth growing in the bottom right.  She has front teeth then gaps then her molar teeth.  It's pretty funny.  I don't think any of my children's teeth have come in a certain way.  Each of them were different.  I guess teeth have a mind of their own, like my children!
She's in nursery at church at the end of this month and I couldn't be happier.  Juggling her with our callings has been hard and it'll be nice to have her in 'class' for a couple of hours while we remain busy with ourselves at church.
She's at the age where she's just really hard during church hours now and is a handful.
I'm glad to be done with this stage to be honest and don't feel much guilt about that ;)
She's started telling me when she has poop in her nappie (diaper) CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT?
So when she turns 22 months, I'm going to potty train her and be free of all nappies..................well sort of, Yuki still wears them at night BUT she controls that herself AND a box of nappies last for  A LONG TIME.
Here's hoping the training works like it did for Takeshi.  One can hope.
She's still very clingy.
This made it hard in Lake Powell.  No one else could really help out because when we were around she wanted nobody else.
I don't remember my other kids being like this either because a)I've got a crap memory OR b) it's completely true!  You can decide.
I'm not good with clingy but I have to push through it and try the best I can to be patient with it and her. 
She's my last, therefore I can strive to be better right?
She understands a lot and is pretty obedient.  She's started hitting Takeshi though so I'm worried about her being a bully in nursery.  'Please don't let her be a bully.'
All my kids have gone through a 'hitting' stage though and I guess hers is about coming.
She's REALLY BAD at dinner time.  Lately I've just been putting her in her crib.  If she's gonna cry no matter what, it might as well be in the safety of her bedroom rather than around a hot stove and exhausted mother!
Emiko loves and has always loved to dance and listen to music.  So with us singing more due to my calling in church, she'll dance and twirl around and skip and jump and run.  It's pretty sweet to watch.  She makes us all laugh, which in turn makes her 'act' even more for the pleased 'crowd' watching.
If there's a song on Pandora that I'm dancing to she'll come up to me and ask to be lifted up so I'll dance and swing her around and do rock 'n' roll moves with her.  So we dance for the rest of the song and giggle together with the other kids.
I love Emiko and so does everyone else in the family.
I'm glad she came to us and is a part of our family.
I don't know who she looks like or who's personality she's most similar to, maybe it's too early to tell, but she has a strong one and that's just fine with me.
Love you bub
Mum xox

New hobby

My goal is the get better at mountain biking.
My mate Jobecca has been trying to get me to go since last summer.
Finally I'm at a place where I think I won't hold her up too much so after a busy month we were able to get together and finally do it.
Then my mate Shannon wanted to come as well.  So the three of us put our bikes in the back of Dru's truck and headed out to do a trail that Jobecca chose.
IT.WAS.AWESOME!!
We're gonna do it every Wednesday night.  It was challenging and fun and the weather was perfect and I just loved it!!
Go me.............
Here we are at the top of the trail tonight.
The cool thing is................is that every week our husbands go together as well. 
So now we can flip flop.  Them on one night and us on another.  It's kinda fun.
I don't like to commit to things, but this is so fun and we go after the kids are in bed and it's such great exersize...................how can I resist.
I'm so happy.

Weakness

You know I've been feeling so great lately.
I'm exercising, eating fairly well and feel happy with how I look.
Today I tried on a smaller sized pair of pants and fit them.  They're slightly tight but not like painted on tight.  I still look modest!!
I was so happy.  I did my hair and put on make up and felt fantastic.
I just finished a 12 week challenge with my family and a few friends from Aussie and NZ.  I weighed in and took measurements and pictures on Monday.
I'm in bikini type clothing so I'll refrain from posting them on this public forum but I like the way the pictures turned out you know.  I don't look too bad and I felt happy.
I wanted to weigh less.............like be in the 160's but turns out I just missed it by a pound.
But when I saw my pictures I felt that I was looking great and I was really happy you know.
Without going into too much detail I've always had problems with my body image and food.
BUT the last 3 years I've come to grips with things a lot better and have been feeling and doing better in this 'weak' area of my life.
So here I am doing well, feeling good and then I go to a party tonight.
It was a surprise party for a girlfriend of mine. She's really nice and we did a pre-school co-op type thing with our kids a couple of years ago and have kept in loose contact since.  She's so sweet but we have different friends and so consequently I knew basically no one tonight at the party bar one couple.
Now USUALLY this wouldn't be a big deal cause I'm a social girl and like to meet new people and find it easy to talk BUT Emiko was needy and the kids were getting chocolate cake everywhere and I just wasn't in the mood for it.
So ALREADY I'm not in a good mood.
So I look around and start doing a tally, this is a weakness I haven't done in a long time.  But I think with my ho hum mood it started a spiral effect.
All these women were smaller than me.
I started getting down on myself.
"I'm still so fat"
"Here I was thinking I was doing great and this is a reminder that no Melissa your not doing great, your still fat"
"Why do I always have to be the fattest person in a group"
and so on.......................
SO BAD!!!!
I came home in a mood and Dru asked what was wrong and I told him.
OF COURSE HE HADN'T NOTICED cause he's NORMAL and not CRAZY like his wife was tonight.
He told me "BABE you were BY FAR the prettiest girl at that party, I mean no one even came close to you"
LOL
Good old Dru the defender of his wife the faithful husband, ready to swoop in at any mood swings beck and call!!
He meant it too, bless his heart.
I was so happy and feeling so good, and in a weak moment let it all slip to the side to welcome in the negative that I'd brought in on myself.
{sigh}
This is a reminder to myself to NEVER COMPARE, to be happy and grateful for the small successes in life and to be satisfied with who I am, the body I have and know that it was me who became overweight and it's me and only me who can gain back control of my body and love the skin I'm in {which 98% of the time I DO I REALLY DO}
Weaknesses are trouble and can be our trials BUT weaknesses can be overcome and I relish in the fact that where I used to do this every time I was in a group, now I only do it once every few months and hopefully it'll be once every few years as I strive to push my weaknesses into a strength.
I love women.  I love people.  I'm not an envious person you know.  I want everyone to be happy and blessed and successful...........I really do, but I still have weaknesses that I need to reign in.
Here's to a LONGER PERIOD OF TIME inbetween these 'weak' moments.
I love me.
I love me.
I love me.
and I love me.

Yesterday

So Masaru's been into making forts lately.
He made one while at Grandma's last week.
Then he made one in our livingroom but then we needed the chairs for dinner so he was bummed about that.
Dru told him to make one in his bedroom.
If it's not Masaru's idea he'll fight it for a second then calm down and try it.  The key is NOT to push the issue.
So he made one in his room and it's been up for 24 hours now and they slept in it like this.  It makes it hard for them to get anything like clothes etc.  But I think the boys are willing to make that sacrifice for the fort being up and used.
He loves it and when Dru said "See it was a great idea" he just smiled knowingly and said nothing in true Masaru style.

Then we were having Family Home Evening last night  and right when we were singing our songs Takeshi fell and completely mapped himself out on the coffee table.
Does that not look so sad or what?
Poor kid.  This morning it looks a lot better.  Still puffy but not as bad as this shot.
Let's hope today is filled with fun times and zero accidents for multiple reasons ;)

Old dress, new girl

So here's my baby dress that I kept and put on Yuki {below} and now have the pleasure of putting on Emiko {above}
It's a tad short though so I think I only have a couple of 'wears' before I need to put it away for one of my daughters daughters, or sons daughters if they care.
I never did get that picture of me in it as a baby while I was in NZ.  Bit of a bummer since that would've made this post THAT MUCH COOLER!!!
Anyway comparing these two girls in this dress just solidifies even more so that they are very different looking.
It's great.

I just wanna know where that cute daisy bow is that Yuki is wearing? I guess that got lost in all of the moves over the past few years.
Pretty fun to see my girls in the dress I used to wear as a baby.
I'm not sure these guys are the same age actually.
Look how much more hair Emiko has?
I'm not the best at putting my baby clothes away in the sizes they're suppose to be in so Yuki might be a lot younger!!
Let me work this out.
I think she's only like 9 months after calculating when I took this picture.
LOL Emiko is 17 months in this picture!!
Ahhhhhh mother of the year right here people!!
I dunno what was going on that I missed pulling this dress out for Emiko by 8 months!!
Anyway I'm getting off topic.
The dress, the girls, end of story.

Look what my Auntie found.......ME IN THE DRESS.
All three of us look so different.
What do you think?

35

 So it was Dru's birthday yesterday.
Between Takeshi, our anniversary and Dru's birthday it's a fun week.
Dru turned 35.
I asked him if he cares how old he is and he answered "No"
Simple.
I think most guys don't care, which is great.
He got me some flowers for a belated anniversary gift.  I love them.
He also received cards from family.  One of them had money and another one even had some kiwi chocolate in it.  Dru's new favourite kind, L&P white chocolate.  What a party in your mouth!!!

 His brother helped me find this helmet.  Dru loves it.  I don't see how it's different from any other helmet apart from the cost!!  But he thinks it's the bee's knee's so that's great right?  His brother is always great to help.

 I also got him this G-shock watch since he was wearing his nice work watch outside doing yard work!!  Now hopefully we can save his nice work watch for nice things.
I got it in red cause red's my favourite colour and so he'll have a little piece of me on his wrist LOL
He likes it.

 I also got him these cufflinks from Deseret Book.  He loves them as well.  He wore them today to church and they look great.
My brother got them a couple of weeks ago and Dru gushed over them, so I put that in the back of my mind and then when I had the chance got them.
They were cheap too, so another bonus, don't tell Dru though..........................

He went and worked on someone else's shed till lunch time and then cleaned the cars while I unpacked!!
Then we showered, got a babysitter and headed out for sushi.  It was awesome, as always and we had a great time.
Then we headed across the street to the movie theater and saw 'Wolverine'
I thought it was awesome but I'm bias, so watch at your own risk I guess.
I love the poster as well.
Hugh Jackman, what a stud!!
It was a great night and we were home by 9pm so that was a bonus.
Turns out my two middle kids were naughty for the babysitter and so that was a little frustrating, but what do you do?
We made them apologize to the girl today at church.  They were embarrassed.  So I hope that helped them learn for next time (if there is one with this girl).
The rest of the night was nice just hanging out and talking and laughing with each other.
Happy Birthday babe, love you.

Gone

So a month is up and gone and I just dropped my brother, his wife and his daughter off to the airport yesterday lunch time.  They're still traveling and won't be back in Auckland until 8pm tonight.  I feel bad for them man and know what they're going through.

I just hope the flight can be the best possible for them.  On the plus side they don't have to care for 4 kids 8 and under while they tackle the chaos of traveling, so that's good right?

I think they had a great time.

There's so much shopping to do and sights to see and people to meet and Temples to go to that I think they were sad to leave.

I'm glad they came over and I miss them.

This year has been awesome.

With me going to NZ in March and them coming over in July it's felt like I've been a part of my family more.  My kids remember my siblings and family and it makes me happy.

Llewellyn will get in to Tok late Sunday night and start work on Monday.  How horrible is that right?

But it's back to normal now.

I'm glad I've got this last month until my kids go back to pre-school and school and we can just enjoy the summer break a little bit longer.

I've loved this summer.

I've had the best time and I'm grateful.

I'm extremely blessed which humbles me.

It was nice to be able to get to know Ashaan and Ayuri a little more and I'm grateful for that.  Especially Ayuri as I haven't been able to spend much one on one time with her.

She's a great girl and I hope she adjusts to life back home after this trip, easily.

She missed 3 weeks of school to come on this trip and her teacher said "Have fun" and that's it.

Masaru missed 3 weeks of school to go to NZ and it didn't affect his education in the slightest.

Funny that right?

Turns out travel and adventure is good for our souls and great for our education.

It's why I'll never hesitate to pull my kids out of school to do something.  There's just some things school can't offer and that's first hand experience in another country.

Alright this post is a big ramble actually but the point of it was to just jot down my feelings on the visit with my brother.

IT WAS GREAT. And I can't wait till the next person comes over to stay with us.

I wonder who it'll be?

Now I'm done with kids my mother has no excuse to come............

12 years

 

So on Takeshi's 4th birthday, we had our 12 year anniversary.  We didn't do anything.  We were coming back from Lake Powell and were exhausted and the day got away from us.

I don't think we've had a year where we've done nothing at all.  I guess 12 years is the year for us!!

I always like to get a picture of us together on our anniversary.  A lot of the time I forget until we're in bed at night.  This is what happened on this anniversary as well.

So I quickly told Dru that we needed to get a shot of us together on the actual day.  So we grabbed his camera.  After a coupld of attempts and failures I said "Listen, I'm just gonna take this shot and whatever it looks like I'm just gonna put it up on the blog no matter what"

And this is the picture we got.

Dru looks like a pirate and I look like a hippie from the '70's.  It's the perfect 12 year anniversary shot in my books.

Considering I don't do well with commitment and before Dru I'd never had a long term relationship, I reckon I'm doing great with 12 years!!!  

My commitment issues are in other areas to be honest.  Committing to Dru has been easy.

Alright so in the celebration of 12 years I'm going to put up 12 random reasons it's been great to be married to Dru.

#1 He loves me.

#2 He thinks I'm pure awesomeness.

#3 He thinks I'm beautiful inside and out.

#4 He has good advice.

#5 He appreciates me.

#6 He likes my cooking and baking.

#7 I know he's always on my side even when he has to tell me straight.

#8 He's the best protector and provider for myself and our kids.

#9 He's got the best sense of humour.

#10  He's always on the Lord's side.

#11 He's intelligent.

#12 He's always serving me.

Do you ever sit down sometimes and wonder how you lucked out with your spouse?

Every now and then I do and it brings me a great sense of gratitude for the partner I have in this life and the next.

Dru's the perfect man for me and our marriage has been amazing.  I love being married to him and I love marriage.  It's been uplifting and positive and has molded me into a better person.  To love and trust someone this much and have that in return is a priceless gift and the best gift I could ever have.

Thanks Dru.

Love you babe.

Milz xox